He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much, that he made a woman out of dirt, and married her, but when he kissed her, she disintegrated. At her funeral, when the minister said, "Dust to Dust" some people laughed, so he shot them. At his hanging he told the others, 'I'll be waiting for you in heaven, with a gun'.

~Jack Handey


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